Don't Know Why We Didn't Think Of It Sooner

I was talking to our illustrious handicapper and rules committee at headquarters the other night, and he came up with a brilliant plan to fix the accommodation problem should Tiger and Geoff come to play. It's simply genius. What needs to happen is that the Shark should come as well. We know he's not going to play in the AUSTRALIAN Masters, but surely he wouldn't mind bringing his little runabout up to the Murray for the tour. It looks like it would have plenty of room for the boys. They could probably even convince him to pull out the sticks and have a bash around Rich River. Anyway, it sounds to me like an excellent option. So boys, when you put in your acceptance, please give the old Fish Finger a bell and get it all teed up for us would you?

Open Letter to Tiger Woods and Geoff Ogilvy

Dear Tiger and Geoff,

I'm sure that it was just a scheduling mistake, but you may not realise that you have organised yourselves to play the 2009 Australian Masters at exactly the same time we will be attending the 2009 Great Northern Tour. Now, that's a bit unfortunate, as there are a number of us that would have liked to head off to the Heath and watch you play. I have however figured out a possible solution to this problem.

It seems that the Masters starts on the 12th and goes through to the 15th. The tour of course starts with the pro-am on the 11th. So, while we may not be able to see you play at the Heath, it would certainly be possible for you to come up and play with us in the pro-am (how apropos). 

Of course, there would need to be some ground rules set - firstly, you would need to submit your last 5 cards to the handicapper. It's also been traditional (sorry Jack) that anyone playing for the first time is likely to be handicapped out, so don't expect any favouritism purely due to your superstar status. You would also not be eligible for the Bee Moore trophy as you won't be playing on the last day (not withstanding any issues you would have by being handicapped out of it).

You may not be aware, but we play on the Rich River golf club which was designed by Mr Peter Thompson (aka something that can't be published in a family blog), who won 5 British Opens, so there is a fair amount of cred to be had here.

Now, I don't like to talk about money, but there has been some talk that you in particular Tiger have a fairly hefty appearance fee. Unfortunately the Northern Tour doesn't quite have the wherewithal for that level of compensation, but I'm sure that the boys might be able to organise a whip around which would probably cover a countery at the Taras Hall and a couple of pots. On top of that, there's a good chance that Billy or Pearcey may let you into some late mail on the punt and you could boost it up a bit that way.  After a few all ups you'd probably be well in front.

The other thorn in the side of course is accommodation. With Col back on deck, Laney an unknown, the Sparrow, Q and Pop Palmer threatening to make comebacks (and heaven only knows what the story is with Woodhouse), there may not be the room to get you two beds for the night, but don't you worry, you can always bunk down on the couch in the house. Don't forget earplugs in case you have to share with Pop.

Anyway, let us know what you think. It would be great if you could make it, it would certainly give you a good run for the day and I can't think of a better preparation for you for your 4 days (of course I'm assuming you make the cut) at the Heath.